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Archive for September, 2010

Funny Court Room Quotes

Lawyer: “How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”


Lawyer: “And you check your radar unit frequently?”
Officer: “Yes, I do.”
Lawyer: “And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?”
Officer: “Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly.”


Lawyer: “What happened then?”
Witness: “He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.'”
Lawyer: “Did he kill you?”
Witness: “No.”


Lawyer: “Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–”
Witness: “Thank you. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment.”


Lawyer: “You were there until the time you left, is that true?”


Lawyer: “Were you alone or by yourself?”


Witness: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”
Lawyer: “Was this a male or a female?”


Lawyer: “Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?”
Witness: “I went to Europe, sir.”
Lawyer: “And you took your new wife?”

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